unanswered love
by yrume
Summary: KakuHidan One-Shot - yaoi/lemon, violence/gore - This is actually part of my longer story Search for Identity. Kakuzu & Hidan have been friends for years since they attended the same academy. Now, at the age of 16, they are slowly discovering... something
1. Chapter 1

When Hidan opened the door, Kakuzu was sitting at his desk, a highly concentrated look on his face. He didn't even look up when his companion entered the room.

"Oi, Kakuzu-san", Hidan called out. His voice was a bit shaky, and he cursed himself for it. He started to walk over to Kakuzu and slumped down on a chair beside him. His counterpart still didn't lift his head, his green eyes wandering across a document that looked like a bill to Hidan.

"What are you doing, Kakuzu-san?", he asked, "Some fucking math stuff again?"

"Kind of", Kakuzu mumbled without facing him.

"The others have left", Hidan said.

"Hmm", came from the other youth. The silver haired wondered if that was supposed to be a reply.

"They wanted to go to the lake", Hidan started another try. He picked up one of the pencils that were lying on the desk, watching it with a bored expression.

Kakuzu erased a number on his sheet.

"Why didn't you go with them, then", he asked tonelessly, his eyes still glued to the paper.

Hidan clenched his teeth and angrily pressed his finger down onto the tip of the pencil. "I was fucking left behind."

They didn't want him to come with them. That was why they had chosen the lake as their destination. Even if he had come with them, Hidan would have been sitting at the shore alone, as he still didn't know how to swim. It wasn't that he was afraid of the deep water or something, he just highly disliked the temperature. Itachi and Kisame always said they wanted to cool down, but he couldn't see the point in jumping into ice cold water when he was comfortably warm.

Hidan pushed down harder onto the pencil, and the tip pricked his finger, causing him to twitch at the painful sensation. A drop of blood appeared at the tiny wound, and he put his finger into his mouth, eagerly licking off the red liquid. The metallic taste on his tongue sent a shiver down his spine. He loved blood. And he loved pain. Too bad it had already stopped hurting.

Hidan began to fidget around on his chair.

"What the fuck are you doing, Kakuzu-san?", he asked impatiently.

"You already asked that", Kakuzu replied, his voice still lacking interest, "some fucking math stuff."

Hidan became angry. His counterpart was making fun of him without even looking at him. He had no idea why Kakuzu was acting so cool.

"I don't fucking care what the fuck you're doing", Hidan huffed, "just stop already and fucking listen to me."

Kakuzu chuckled to himself. Three swearwords in one sentence. Hidan must be either extremely annoyed or bored to no end. The masked youth sighed and put his pencil down.

"What's the matter, Hidan?", he asked, "What do you want from me?"

Green eyes were finally looking into crimson ones, causing Hidan's heart to skip a beat. He was shut up at once by Kakuzu's steady gaze. It was one of the rare moments where Hidan was at a lack of words. He knew what he wanted from him, but he couldn't say it. His face moved slowly towards Kakuzu's, his lips trembling with nervousness. It was now or never. His hands shot forward and pulled the black mask away. Before Kakuzu was able to react, a pair of moist lips were pressed against his, a hot tongue violently entering his mouth. The green eyed youth couldn't help returning the kiss at first, but then broke away.

"Gross, Hidan", he called out and pulled back.

The silver haired smirked at him and leaned back in his chair.

"You kissed me back", he chuckled, self-confident as always.

Kakuzu snorted. "Most people would return a kiss when surprised."

Hidan ran his tongue across his teeth, giving Kakuzu a gleeful smile.

"So I'm a good kisser?", he smirked.

His green eyed friend shrugged. He hadn't kissed many people before.

"You don't know?", Hidan asked, pouting, "Have to try out one more time, then."

And he crashed his lips against Kakuzu's once more, tightly grabbing his scarred chin in order to keep him from pulling away this time. He wouldn't have needed to do so, though, as his counterpart forced his own tongue into Hidan's mouth now, starting a battle at once. Both of them would try to enter the other's mouth with violence, as if checking out who was stronger. Hidan grabbed a strand of black hair that was sticking out of Kakuzu's hood and yanked hard in order to pull him closer, but was startled when he felt his companion bite his lower lip in response. The taste of blood mixed with Kakuzu's addicting flavor sent a shiver through his body, and he broke away quickly, gasping for air.

"Umm…", Kakuzu exclaimed, frowning as if he had to think about what had happened, "actually, yes, you are a skilled kisser."

"So you liked it", Hidan smirked, running his tongue over his bleeding lip.

"I didn't say that", his counterpart said, slowly putting his mask back on.

The silver haired jumped to his feet, pushing over his chair.

"Damn it", he called out and turned around, making a few steps towards the door, his body trembling with anger, "why the fuck is everybody making fun of me today?"

He started to pound his fist against the wall, seething with rage. Right now he felt like running away. Sometimes he wondered why he still stayed in this village, if he wasn't welcome at all. It wasn't only today. His housemates kept teasing him all the time, the teachers disliked him, and even his friends seemed to hate him. Furthermore, the person he liked most kept pushing him away. Hidan didn't mind getting hurt, being knocked over or stabbed, but the pain he was feeling right now was different.

Kakuzu's hand grabbed his wrist roughly.

"Don't go wild in my room", he frowned at him.

Hidan broke away from his grip and glared at him, his crimson eyes furious with anger. Kakuzu yanked his hair, forcing him to turn around and face him.

"What's the matter, Hidan?", he asked, a worried expression on his face, "Can't bear teasing anymore?"

"Not that sort of teasing", Hidan hissed. His voice didn't sound as self-assured as usual, and his eyes weren't sparkling with anger anymore, but full of desire. A second later, Hidan pressed against Kakuzu firmly, making as much body contact as possible. The green eyed let go of the silver strands in surprise and involuntarily wrapped his arms around his counterpart instead.

"So that's what it's all about", he half-stated, half-asked, "you want to be close to someone?"

He could barely suppress a laugh. Maverick Hidan was desperate for a hug.

"I can't fucking stand being pushed around", he mumbled as quiet as possible, but of course Kakuzu had heard every single word of it. He ran his fingers through the messy silver hair, trying to be gentle for once. He tried to imagine what it felt like to be forced to practice chastity when everyone else around was making out, or at least talking about it all day. Kakuzu didn't understand why Hidan's relatives were so strict in this regard, anyway. He was sure they weren't always abstinent themselves.

Hidan shivered under Kakuzu's touch and grabbed his shoulders, pulling him even closer to him, rubbing himself against his body.

"Jeez, you're needy", the black haired smirked. He let his hands wander down Hidan's sides quickly.

"Haaa, Jashin-sama", the silver haired moaned when he felt Kakuzu's fingers slip into his pants.

He had always imagined that someone else's hands touching him there would feel much better than his own, but he had never thought it would feel _that_ good. He felt guilty at once for letting Kakuzu do this to him, but he couldn't help enjoying it to the fullest. A short prayer for forgiveness escaped his lips before he abandoned himself to the pleasurable sensation completely.

Kakuzu smirked at his friend, whose eyes were clenched shut. He was panting heavily at the intense feeling, mumbling foreign words between breaths. The black haired tightened his grip, earning another moan at once.

"Feels good, huh?", Kakuzu almost whispered into Hidan's ear.

"Hell yes!"

Very well then. Kakuzu chuckled and removed his hand from Hidan's pants. He was amused by the extreme reactions caused by his touch, but he didn't actually like giving pleasure to others. He rather liked hurting them, torturing them.

He pinned Hidan to the wall, placing his hands on his arms in order to hold them down, but the silver haired broke free within seconds and pulled down Kakuzu's mask again. He brought their lips together in a teeth-crashing kiss, eager for more. Hidan sure was a skilled kisser, after all. His tongue moved rapidly and pushed against Kakuzu's with pretty much force, his teeth gently brushing against his lips when he moved. He tasted metallic, of blood, and pretty warm.

"Shit, Hidan", Kakuzu mumbled, Hidan's tongue still making contact with his lips, "you turn me on."

He hated to admit it, but Hidan's kisses were addicting, making him want more of him. The silver haired let his hands wander down with a smirk, but Kakuzu pushed them away quickly before they could reach their goal and pinned them to the wall above Hidan's head. He didn't want to be touched. If anything, he was the one who touched, not the other way round. If already Hidan's kisses made him feel hot all over, he didn't want to know what his hands would do to him.

He bent his head and started kissing Hidan's neck. He wasn't able to withstand his smell, metallic as well, reminding him of a fresh wound, of blood, of killing. Hidan might have flavored of death, but he looked so alive, so young. His pale skin felt soft under Kakuzu's lips, thin and vulnerable, and he could feel the blood pumping through Hidan's neck veins. For a moment, he felt the urge to bite down on them in order to make the red liquid splutter across the delicate skin, but he restrained himself and continued kissing his neck instead.

The silver haired turned his head to the side, exposing more of the attractive white skin to his counterpart. He didn't try to break free this time, so Kakuzu removed one of his hands, still clutching Hidan's wrists with the other one firmly, and slowly started to unbutton his coat. He wasn't wearing a shirt, but although Kakuzu had been expecting this, he was astounded at the sight. Of course Hidan was in good form, as he was training every day, and Kakuzu had seen him shirtless often before, but he had never taken a closer look at him. His body was fit, muscular, deathly pale, but – sexy.

"The… the fuck", Hidan stumbled, shivering with excitement.

"Hmm?", Kakuzu asked, his mouth still on the bare skin.

Hidan grunted, trying to produce a complete sentence.

"The fuck are you doing there", he gasped, his voice trembling.

Kakuzu smirked. It must be the first time that Hidan was touched by somebody else other than in training or battle.

"This?", Kakuzu asked and ran his tongue up to Hidan's ear again.

The silver haired moaned again and squirmed, not sure if he wanted to pull away or stand still under the touch. His skin must be so sensitive, after all. Kakuzu wanted more of those reactions, more of those erratic gasps and twitches. He let go of Hidan's hands and placed his own onto the shirtless body, his fingers slowly creeping down his sides, not in a rough but neither in a gentle way, teasing him. It seemed as if the sensations were overloading Hidan's system. Some of the silver strands, usually combed back very carefully, fell into his face as he turned his head, and a gasp escaped his trembling lips.

"I… Itachi…"


	2. Chapter 2

Kakuzu stepped back, gazing at his counterpart with surprise. The silver haired froze, then slammed his hand over his mouth, a habit Kakuzu hadn't seen in a while. Hidan had done this often as a child when he had sworn in front of a teacher unintentionally, but nowadays he didn't care about his loose tongue anymore. He didn't dare to breathe, while Kakuzu only chuckled.

"Itachi?", he asked, "All this is about Itachi?"

The silver haired cast down his eyes as a red flush quickly spread across his face. Wait. Hidan was _blushing_?

"Ah, don't worry, I won't tell him", Kakuzu laughed, "I bet he knows anyway."

Hidan didn't look angry, but embarrassed. And guilty. Kakuzu had never seen his companion lose his coolness before, and he was tickled pink by the sight. He could barely imagine the Uchiha's hands on Hidan's body, or his arms wrapped around him. If it was more than a crush, this was supposed to be unanswered love.

Kakuzu couldn't stop laughing.

"Listen, Hidan", the black haired said, "I'm not in love with you or something. You came here to get a hug, I gave you one, and now we're both hot, that's pretty much it."

Right, Kakuzu had done this before, and it had never had anything to do with love. He wasn't sure if he even knew what love was. He just knew about natural needs, about physical attraction people couldn't resist, just like Hidan's bare flesh that smelt of metal and sin.

Kakuzu pulled the silver haired close to him again.

"You want me to go on, don't you?"

He didn't wait for the answer, he knew anyway that it would be a yes. He himself had already reached a point where he couldn't stop anymore, and he was sure Hidan had, too. Kakuzu hated it when he felt like that, being in need of somebody else. But even if he didn't like it, he was still a human being, he had a body of flesh and blood, which sometimes acted on its own. He had never thought he would ever have sex with Hidan, but now he wanted to. Badly.

It came in useful that Hidan was standing with his back against the wall next to the door to Kakuzu's bedroom. The black haired pushed it open and shoved Hidan inside, almost throwing him onto the bed within the next second. The silver haired sat up and smirked at him. He liked how Kakuzu acted. At least one person liked him. More than liked him. Kakuzu was excited by him.

Hidan pulled him into a kiss once more. He really started to enjoy kissing. It made him feel good, alive, but what he liked most about it was that it felt like the pre-stage of something much more pleasurable. Kakuzu was obviously on his way to the second stage, as he pulled off Hidan's coat impatiently. The silver haired wondered what his counterpart looked like underneath his clothes. He had never seen him shirtless before, not even when they had been training. Hidan was curious. He wanted to know. He wanted to see. Now. He tried to pull off Kakuzu's clothes, but could only reach for his hood before his hands were pushed away. With his black hair spilling free and falling down to his shoulders, Kakuzu glared at Hidan.

"Don't", he snarled.

He wasn't afraid Hidan could be shocked by the sight, he was actually pretty sure the silver haired would be rather excited than shocked. He just didn't want to get touched by him. He didn't want to feel his warm hands on his body, and he definitely didn't want them on his bare skin.

He pressed his lips against Hidan's in order to shut him up before he could come up with something again, slowly putting more pressure on his chest. The silver haired was too busy with kissing him back to realize what was going on, until he was pushed over by Kakuzu and found himself lying on the bed beneath him.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?!", Hidan hissed, pushing his hands against Kakuzu's body in order to keep him from pinning him down.

The black haired sighed.

"Hidan", he asked, "you want to get laid or not?"

Crimson eyes were flickering, alternating between anger and desire. Hidan glared at the black haired male who had sat up again and looked as if ready to get up and leave if he chose the wrong answer. The silver haired clenched his teeth and slowly lay down onto his back again. He hated to give in, but he wanted this so badly, even though this wasn't exactly the situation he had always been dreaming about. The black haired in his imagination had been Itachi, not Kakuzu, and he had been gentle, not as rough and cold as Hidan's actual counterpart. But dreams were dreams, and this was reality. Hard reality.

Kakuzu acted as if he had done this hundreds of times before. He pulled down Hidan's pants quickly, causing him to twitch when the cold air hit his bare skin. He would never get used to cold, and it was even more difficult to accustom to it with his body heated up like that. Kakuzu was looking at him with a smirk, eyeing every inch of his body with hungry eyes. Hidan started squirming under his gaze. It made him feel uncomfortable and hot all over at the same time. He hated the feeling of being at the mercy of Kakuzu, but on the other hand it felt good to be watched.

Hidan tried to sit up as the black haired started to pull down his own pants, but he was pinned down onto the bed again before he could catch one single sight. He broke free from Kakuzu's grip and pulled him into a violent kiss again. If he wasn't allowed to watch, he at least wanted to touch. Kakuzu grabbed Hidan's chin roughly and pushed him away.

"So impatient", he drawled with a smirk. He loved to make him wait, but he could barely restrain himself any longer.

"Lie back", he huffed, and as expected, Hidan obeyed. Kakuzu was in total control of him, and both of them knew it. The silver haired clenched his teeth and glared at his counterpart from below, but he lay still as Kakuzu pushed against his legs and spread them apart roughly. He hated to be submissive, but it was too late to turn the tables.

Hidan howled with pain when Kakuzu suddenly thrust into him. He had supposed he would enter him without warning, but he hadn't expected him to be so violent.

"Fuck, that hurts", he called out.

"I thought you like pain", Kakuzu smirked and pulled back.

Hidan arched his back as the throbbing pain began to spread through his body. Yes, he liked pain, but this was too much. He couldn't tell if it felt good or bad, it was just too much, too intense. A new scream escaped his lips when Kakuzu thrust in again.

"Shit, Hidan, you're tight", the black haired gasped.

"Fucking stop", the silver haired yelled and flailed, but Kakuzu ignored his begging and pinned him down with force, totally out of his mind.

Hidan could feel something wet run down his skin, and the knowledge that it was blood made him feel muzzy at once. His body started to shiver as Kakuzu continued to move. He had accustomed to the painful sensation quickly and started to enjoy it, as his counterpart had predicted. He started to pant heavily under Kakuzu's movements.

"Fucking touch me", Hidan whined.

He didn't care if Kakuzu was rough, he just wanted to feel his hands touching him _there_ once again. But the black haired kept thrusting into him without satisfying his wish, tightening his grip around his wrists in order to hold them down. Kakuzu felt a strange thrill of excitement seize his body when the figure beneath him started to moan. He was sure he hadn't hit that one spot yet, but however Hidan seemed to be highly pleasured already, his eyes hazy and his face flushed, his hands clasping the blankets beneath him. He obviously enjoyed being tortured.

The black haired suddenly felt the urge to be as violent as possible. He wanted to make Hidan suffer, he wanted to make him scream with pain, but no matter how hard he slammed into him, the silver haired seemed to enjoy it to the fullest, making Kakuzu get more and more excited himself. He liked it rough, and now he could be as cruel as he wanted without feeling guilty. Just some minutes ago, he had wanted to kick Hidan out of his room, but now he wanted him to stay beneath him forever. The silver haired seemed to be his perfect counterpart right now. Everything about him was perfect - his hot body, covered in sweat, his pleading eyes, flickering with desire, his hands, desperately trying to break free from Kakuzu's grip.

Hidan moaned and threw his head back when Kakuzu thrust in deeper.

"Shush, Hidan", Kakuzu hissed and covered his mouth with his hand, "my neighbors will hear you."

The silver haired turned his head and pushed Kakuzu's hand away with his own, which wasn't held down any longer.

"I can't fucking help it", he panted.

He used his free hand to pull his counterpart into a kiss once more, but broke away gasping for air when Kakuzu continued to move.

"What the fuck are you doing there", Hidan moaned, "this feels so fucking good."

Kakuzu couldn't believe he was still talking. He himself was able to enjoy the situation without one single word, why had Hidan to comment everything? He was starting to annoy him.

"Shut up already", the black haired huffed.

"I fucking can't, for Jashin's sake!"

It was as it had always been. Whatever came to his mind slipped out from his mouth a second later, no matter how hard he tried to control himself.

"Stop calling that stupid name in my house", Kakuzu hissed.

He didn't care if Hidan moaned Itachi's name, but for some reason he couldn't stand him mention Jashin all the time.

Hidan's eyes met his at once. He hated if his deity was insulted, but to Kakuzu's surprise, he didn't start an argument.

"You don't like _Jashin_?", he asked with a gleeful smile, drawling the name on purpose.

Kakuzu's hand slapped hard across Hidan's flushed face within the next second.

"I told you not to say that name", he snarled, his voice trembling with anger.

Hidan smirked at him, running his tongue over his flawless white teeth before the blood trickling down from his lip could reach them.

"Jashin-sama, that felt good."

Kakuzu raised his hand again, but then hesitated. Hidan obviously wanted him to slap him again. He was smirking at him from below with hooded eyes, exposing his delicate cheek with the red bruises Kakuzu's hand had left there.

"Don't tempt me", the black haired huffed, but he had already fallen for it.

His counterpart was begging to be hurt, and he couldn't resist. Instead of slapping his hand across his face again, he grabbed some of the silver strands and yanked hard, causing Hidan to gasp. Kakuzu felt anger seize his body. He was topped from the bottom, manipulated by the one he had intended to control. If Hidan kept annoying him like that, he would totally lose his temper in no time. He continued to move, trying to focus on his own arousal instead of looking into the seductive crimson eyes.

Hidan groaned and reached out for Kakuzu's head, pulling him close. A shiver ran through the body of the black haired when Hidan's hot breath hit his skin.

"Jashin-sama, you're good…"

It felt like the lights of sanity in Kakuzu's mind were turned out when the hated name was whispered into his ear with husky voice. Blind rage was taking control of his body immediately and his hands dashed forward, wrapping around Hidan's throat quickly, his fingers digging into the tender flesh.

Crimson eyes were widened with surprise and fear, causing Kakuzu to smirk. Caught him off guard.

"K… Kakuzu…", a choked gasp escaped Hidan's mouth.

The black haired tightened his grip and smirked as the voice of the silver haired was taken. Shut him up, finally. He could feel two hot hands clutch his wrists in despair, but he wouldn't let go. It felt too good. Hidan started to writhe as he tried to draw breath in vain, choking sounds escaping his trembling lips as his throat was squeezed shut. Kakuzu's body shivered with excitement when he felt the light frame rear up beneath him and he started to press down with more power. Hidan's eyes were still open, no longer widened with fear but slowly turning dull as Kakuzu's weight was pressing down on him, cutting off all oxygen. A drugged expression became visible on his face as his movements became weaker, his body still thrashing around on the bed.

Nervous excitement seized Hidan's body when he felt Kakuzu's hands strangling him. He was trying to break free instinctively, although some parts of him started to enjoy what was happening. His heart was racing and he could feel his body go numb, his sweaty hands involuntarily letting go of Kakuzu's wrists and slumping to the sides. His head was feeling heavy, all sounds drowned out by his heart pounding in his ears, but from far away he could hear Kakuzu gasp as he started to thrust into him again. Hidan was still conscious, fully aware of Kakuzu's every movement. The lack of oxygen made him feel like he was falling, leaving this room, this village, this world, but at the same time he was forced to stay by the sight of Kakuzu's hazy green eyes, the sound of his moans, the feeling of his hot breath hitting his skin, his violent thrusts.

Hidan was in trance, on the one hand drugged by the throbbing pain spreading from his tortured throat through his entire body, on the other hand highly aroused by Kakuzu's movements inside of him. He felt like going crazy, unable to tell what he liked better, not knowing which sensation he should focus on, lying helplessly under his black haired companion. Kakuzu kept brushing against that delicate spot inside of him again and again, and he was forced to endure, no matter if he was able to take it or not. His vision started to blur, but at the same time the feeling inside him became more and more intense. He felt the urge to moan at the pleasurable sensation but he couldn't, as the black haired was still squeezing his throat shut without mercy.

Finally, Hidan felt that he was slowly passing out, entering the world of unconsciousness, of death, Jashin's world. He could feel a hot liquid spill over his body, not able to tell if it was blood or something else, his or Kakuzu's. The last thing he could see was the wall of Kakuzu's bedroom as his head rolled to the side, and then his vision went black.

Kakuzu removed his hands and sat up, leaning against the wall behind him in order not to slump down with exhaustion. Slowly the rage that had seized him vanished from his body and he became aware of the lifeless body in front of him. Hidan was lying on the bed without any motion, his mouth half-opened and his eyes closed shut, his formerly white throat covered with red bruises from Kakuzu's hands. The black haired was panting heavily at the sight. He had totally lost it again. But it had felt _so good_ to choke Hidan. Kakuzu was still shivering when he thought about it. He really liked to snuff life out. For a moment, he was about to believe Hidan was really dead. His chest wasn't moving and his body was cooling down quickly, but Kakuzu could still sense his chakra. It was flowing through his system more slowly than usual, but it was still there, ready to reanimate him and make him leave the world of death anytime.

When Hidan opened his eyes, he didn't know where he was, his vision still blurred. His body was throbbing with pain, but for some reason he felt satisfied, confident, good at the same time. He realized that Kakuzu's hands weren't on his throat anymore, and he started to draw breath instinctively.

Kakuzu turned his head when he heard the choking noise. He was already fully dressed and sitting at his desk again, as if he had never left it. He watched Hidan roll onto his side, small drips of blood trickling down from his lips, breaths rattling in his throat as he sucked them in hungrily, his hands quickly grabbing some blankets to cover his trembling body. Kakuzu smirked. Of course he must be cold. He had been lying there for several minutes without any motion, and he was still naked.

"I bet Itachi wouldn't have done something like this to you", Kakuzu mumbled.

Hidan moaned as he tried to reply, his throat too dry and painful to speak yet. His body was sticky with sweat and blood and aching badly as it came back to life. His hands started to feel around for his rosary, and he found it to be still around his neck.

"Oi, Kakuzu-san", he asked after he had finished his prayer, his voice still raspy.

Green eyes looked into his, cold and unimpressed as always, as Hidan tried to clear his throat.

"Hmm?"

"Can you do that again?"

"What", Kakuzu asked with surprise, "take you? Or kill you?"

A shiver of excitement ran down his spine as he was waiting for the answer.

Hidan ran his tongue over his teeth again, a sight Kakuzu could get used to. Crimson eyes glanced at him as Hidan gave him a gleeful smile.

"Dunno. Maybe both."

Kakuzu turned around to his work and chuckled as a comfortable warmth started to spread throughout his body.

"Anytime you want, Hidan."


End file.
